July 4th, 1930: “They forced me to do it”

On this date, St. Josemaria wrote about “not having somebody to open my soul to and talk about that which Jesus has asked me”. He was without a spiritual director because all those priests with whom he has been going to confession could not continue seeing him for different reasons. Then he heard about Father Sanchez, a jesuit, who was known for his good care towards his penitents. On the morning of this day he went to speak to him and ask him to be his spiritual director: “Then, slowly, I told him about the Work and about my soul. We both saw God’s hand. We agreed that I would bring some notecards to him in which I had written down the details of the Work”. Then, St. Josemaria wrote: “On Sunday July 6th, I gave F. Sanchez the notecards, in the Foundation (of the Sick), when he came for the exams of the preservation of the Faith”. Elsewhere, he wrote: “F. Sanchez went to Chamartin for a couple of weeks. Upon his return, he told me that the Work is of God and that he didn’t have any inconvenient in being my confessor. On Monday the 21st of the same month, in Chamartin, he gave back that notecards and he committed to be our director: Laus Deo!. The pack of notecards, I burnt them a few years ago. I’m sorry”.
From the end of July, St. Josemaria caught up regularly with his new spiritual director in order to deal not with things regarding the Work, but those regarding his soul. St. Josemaria wrote down on his “Catalinas”: “I only spoke to him about the Work when it was related to my soul”. And so, during the first years of the foundation of the Work he would go to confession with this jesuit priest: Father Valentin Sanchez Ruiz. St. Josemaria had to go to see him to a catechetics house that the jesuits had in the suburb of Chamartin in Madrid, in the north of the city and a huge distance from the suburb of Atocha, the area around where St. Josemaria was living. He used to do the trip by foot (due to lack of money). Not infrequently father Sanchez would make him wait for a long time, even hours, before seeing him. A few years later, F. Sanchez having passed away already, St. Josemaria was having lunch with F. Arrupe, the superior of the jesuits. St. Josemaria was talking about those long walks and how sometimes, a lay brother would come out to tell him “today F. Sanchez won’t be able to see you”. St. Josemaria commented, in a positive tone, how he always considered that to be a good formative experience for his soul. And suddenly, the lay brother who is serving the table and who had been listening to the conversation intervenes: “This I know very well! It was me who had to go with such unpleasant message, after you had been waiting one or two hours. I remember perfectly it was not once nor twice, but many times that it happened!”.
On another occasion, don Alvaro would comment that, after writing the book “Holy Rosary”, St. Josemaria took it to F. Sanchez for his approval. “Holy Rosary was written by our father in one go, as a continuation of his thanksgiving after Holy Mass, in the Foundation of St. Isabel: on a desk that stands between the Church and the sacristy, on the way towards the exit of the presbytery. [The book] included some other things. however, his confessor, to whom our father would send everything, told him that he could take this and that out. And he did. Later, when I’ve seen the original, I thought it was a shame because there are other very beautiful things. We all have the tendency to correct others’ work. But our father, with that confidence on what came from God, obeyed [father Sanchez]”. St. Josemaria used to give F. Sanchez his “Catalinas” so that he would be up to date with what was happening in his interior life. Sometimes he had to write down some impoliteness that he received from his confessor. After receiving some contemptuous remark from his confessor, he writes: “I’ve written these details because, surely F. Sanchez will read them and he will see how these little things -which happen relatively often- do sting me: therefore, I think they are good for me”.
St. Josemaria stopped going to confession with F. Sanchez in Autumn 1941, after an interview in which F. Sanchez -in an abrupt and sharp tone- told him to forget about the Work because the Church would never approve of it. St. Josemaria was shocked and puzzled, and asked him if he would be willing to repeat that same thing before a witness so St. Josemaria returned accompanied by don Alvaro. Father Sanchez repeated his statement and quoted some codes of Canon Law. Don Alvaro would remember years after: “When I got home I went to check the Code and those quotes had no relation whatsoever ”. St. Josemaria communicated to him that he could not continue going to confession with him because he had lost confidence in him.
Many years later, short before F. Sanchez died, St. Josemaria went to visit him in hospital and was with him for a long time, very affectionate, talking about many topics. At some point, and without St. Josemaria prompting anything, F. Sanchez said: “Josemaria, they forced me to do it” (“Josemaria, me obligaron”). And St. Josemaria, without adding anything to that comment, continued chatting about other things.