June 22nd, 1933: what i if everything is a lie, an illusion, a waste of time?

22/06/1933: Thursday, eve of the feast of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus. St Josemaría is in the Church of perpetual help in Madrid for some days of retreat which he had started on the 19th of June. Some time before, (written in his Catherines in 1932) a claretian (F. Juan Postius) with whom he had been going to confession since father Sanchez went into hiding due to the persecution, had announced to him a test from God: “Father Postius, told me that the time will come in which I won’t feel that supernatural impulse and love for the Work”. In May 1930 our father had written: “Not once does it come to me to think that I go fooling around, that God doesn’t want his Work, anything but that”. But that Thursday evening in 1933, for brief moments, our Lord took away that clear sight of the 2nd of October 1928, letting him float among those adverse thoughts that jumped on his mind. St Josemaría wrote: “It was matter of seconds, but how does one suffer!”. And he recounts: “Alone, in a pew of this Church of Perpetual Help, I was trying to pray before The Most Holy Sacrament when, for a moment and without any clear reason -there isn’t any- it came to my consideration this bitter thought: What if everything is a lie, an illusion of yours, and you’re wasting your time... and -which is worse- others’ time?” It was a moment of supernatural vacuum, a supreme angst that filled my soul with bitterness. In front of such doubt, I asked God: “If the Work is not for serving you, to serve your Church, destroy it! make it be gone immediately!. And if it is, confirm me!. Immediately he à experimented an ineffable sense of peace and joy, like a confirmation that the Work is God's: Immensely I felt confirmed in the truth about His Will regarding His Work”. St Josemaría left this fact written, according to his notes: “Because I want the first ones to be aware of the divine little things that have surrounded the birth of this new militia of Christ. With this knowledge and that which from my miseries they will go acquiring, by way of dealing with me, they won’t be able of anything else but to love the Work and exclaim: “Truly this Work is... the Work of God!”.
This same test he suffered in Sept. 1941 in Segovia. St Josemaría  made the same petition to God again, and again had the same supernatural reaction.