27/4/1954: Feast of Our Lady of Montserrat. Blessed Alvaro del Portillo ("don Alvaro") was with St. Josemaria in the dining room of Villa Vecchia when he fainted. Previously, before the meal, he had given him his insulin as usual; it was around 1pm. For that day Dr. Faelli (the doctor who used to look after him) had prescribed a new type of insulin and indicated a very high dose. In fact, because it appeared as an extremely high dose to don Alvaro, he gave him less than what the doctor said. It was then found out that the doctor had made a mistake. St. Josemaria never went back to Faelli. It was all of a sudden when the founder had the anaphylactic shock. Before losing consciousness, in a matter of seconds, he uttered to don Alvaro: “The absolution, the absolution!”. Everything happened so quickly, with no previous symptom that would raise suspicion, that don Alvaro did not understand: “Which solution?” and st. Josemaria, as to get him to understand started “Ego te absolvo...” and lost consciousness. St. Josemaria changed color: First red, then purple, finally an earthen yellow and all his body contracted, going rigid and stiff as a corpse.
Don Alvaro would later say in a get-together (18/6/76): “I notified the doctor immediately, and gave our father the absolution many times. Even though I don’t know much about medicine, I knew that an excess of insulin could cause a shock. The father was rigid: I opened his mouth as I could, I put sugar in -to counteract the insulin- and to make him swallow I also added water and gave him a few strikes, with all the piety and filial care I’ve always had for our father. After ten or twelve minutes, when the doctor arrived, he was starting to come back to life”. When st. Josemaria recovered, don Jose Luis Massot and the doctor carried him from the dining room to his bedroom. St. Josemaria was talking as if nothing had happened. He took his cassock off and lied down. Then he father said: “Look, I’ve shrunk. Before I could touch the end of the bed with my toes, and now I can’t”. As a matter of fact, his cassocks had to be fixed as he shrunk some 5 centimeters. When don Jose Luis Massot remained alone with him in his room, st. Josemaria told him: “I thought I was dying. They say that before dying, there is the chance of making an examination [of conscience]. Look, I’ve lived it: there will be an examination. And I repented of all the bad things I’ve done...”. That same day, alone with don Alvaro, commented: “When I was about to black out, in a matter of seconds, the Lord made me look at my life as if it was a movie; I was full of shame for so many mistakes, and asked the Lord for pardon. It’s as if I had died...”.
It was until St. Josemaria was alone with don Alvaro that he told him he was blind, that he couldn’t see a thing - and that he didn’t want to say anything so that don Jose Luis and the doctor wouldn’t worry, as he was sure it was something temporary. In fact, neither the doctor nor don Jose Luis realised he was blind. Don Alvaro would say: “After that shock, for many hours, the father went blind. Then, when looking himself in the mirror he told me, bemused: Alvaro, my son, I know how will I look when I die. I answered: No father, you should've looked at yourself 5 or 6 hours ago. In comparison to that, now you like like a carnation...”. One year later, st. Josemaria invited don Jose Luis to have a piece of cake that the administration had prepared. It had a little candle: “look", said he, "let’s celebrate one year after that scare”. When referring to that episode, st, Josemaria would have at some point referred to it as “I was dead”.
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| Statue of our Lady of Montserrat |
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